Are You Going To Finish Strong?

A few posts below I mentioned the phenomenon I call the at random opened book. Well, it doesn't refer only to books; it refers to everything which comes your way "accidentally" just the moment you need it the most. It happened to me today...again.

It has happened more and more often recently that I don't comment and write much about the items I post. It's just that lack of words, you know... I have to say, this one struck me a lot!

It's about failing...

It's about falling down...

It's about having the feeling you are unable to get back up...

It's about getting back up...

It's about not giving up...

It's about finding strength again...

It's about finishing strong!

What's Going On Down There?

Something has been going on in Bulgaria for the past few weeks. But I still can't figure out what it is. I read the press, I get only isolated pieces of information but I can't get the puzzle done. More interesting is the fact that no one from the people I have talked to - living in Bulgaria - can really explain what has been in fact going on there. I know it's some kind of a chaos that's taken hold of the whole country but I don't know what dimensions it has already taken. Do we get to see the 1997's January events again - 12 years later?

I'm really curious to find out myself. And will then surely comment on what I'm going to see with my own eyes in the next 2-3 weeks. From what I have seen by now... well, I think I lack the words to describe it. Or maybe I'm just afraid I would draw any wrong conclusions.

Anyway, for now I can only hope that it is not that bad...

"I'm on the run!"

I woke up with this song today. I hadn't heard it for years. And when I say for years I mean for years. I loved it when I was younger. The thing is, it was at the time when I already spoke English and still I think I have never really purposefully reflected on the lyrics. Today the song just came on (have I mentioned how much I enjoy the shuffle function?) and somehow my sleepy brain got to listen to the lyrics. It's so much in there! I couldn't help posting it... Be on the run! Always!


"Blinded by Science"
-- Foreigner

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
Blinded by science, where do I belong?
What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

I worry 'bout the world that we live in
I'm worried by all the confusion
I wonder 'bout the lies I've been reading
I wonder where this madness is leading

Is this a road going nowhere?
Or is someone leading us somewhere?
I can't believe we're here for no reason
There must be something we can believe in

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
I'm not an appliance, so don't turn me on
What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

I worry 'bout the world that we live in
I'm worried by all the confusion
I wonder 'bout the lies I've been reading
I wonder where this madness is leading

Is this a road going nowhere?
Is someone leading us somewhere?
I can't believe we're here for no reason
There must be something we can believe in

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
I'm not an appliance, don't turn me on
What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
I'm blinded by science, on the run

25 Random Things About Me

What is one of the best things to do at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning? Blogging, of course!

I have just been tagged on a note by a friend of mine in which you list 25 random things about yourself. Here are the rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
Well, I am not going to tag anybody, I just thought it would be great to have MY random things about ME in MY blog. Enjoy! :)

1. I grew up and changed considerably in the past 2-3 years. Partly due to some changes which came unexpectedly into my life, partly due to things which I myself attracted and forced to happen. (Тhough, I never know where exactly the one thing ends and the other begins. Don't you sometimes have the feeling that things, which at first sight seem to be accidental and not depending on you, have come into your life just because you attracted them - consciously or not?)

2. I love sports. I can't live without it. I am addicted. I love weightlifting (although I do a lot more things in the gym except for weightlifting, so it is not only about weights). I love the feeling of being alone with the bar - just me and the bar - particularly when I am all alone in the gym in the early night or morning hours. Pureness...

3. I hate shopping! Well, ok...maybe not exactly hate but I do not enjoy it that much. I go shopping 2-3 times a year and that's it! That's why my girlfriends do not call me anymore when they go shopping. It's just that they know I wouldn’t go...

4. I don't like going to noisy clubs and places on a Friday or Saturday night. Instead, I prefer spending the evening with friends at one's place having enjoyable conversations, watching a favourite movie, making a Friends-marathon, playing associations etc.

5. I have been low-carbing for more than 3 years now. And I feel great! My body loves it! Since then my appearance changed a lot. It helps me gain strength, clean my body, reduce body fat.. But people still find it weird and freaky when I say I just had pork for breakfast. *lol*

6. I adore my sister! By the time she was born (I was then 15) it practically didn't matter to me whether I would have a sibling or not. The day she was born my life turned upside down. The feeling was indescribable! But this refers only to my sister. Having own kids is something else (I wonder when my biological clock will start to tick-tack...if it ever starts at all).

7. I love making people smile!

8. I love to go for walks early in the morning. Most often I go somewhere where I can hardly meet anybody. The last time I did it - just yesterday.

9. I still find it difficult to go to bed early. But once I've done it I then really enjoy the feeling of getting up early in the morning and doing my stuff when the world around me is still asleep.

10. I love the Balkans! I am so fond of them! I love their (our) history, I love examining psychology of the Balkan people, their (our) character and temper. Even if I don't live on the Balkans in the long run I would make anything possible to travel "down" as often as possible! Thrilling!

11. I hate politics!

12. I love holisticism!

13. I do not sleep in the afternoon hours. I must be really tired to force myself to take a nap. Even if it happens, it is not more than half an hour of just lying in bed.

14. I am addicted to the ring on my right thumb. It is my second one. When I lost my first one I felt terribly for days. A part of me was missing...

15. I adore slavonic languages! It seems I cannot get enough of them! My last passion is Ukrainian. My Russian sucks but I know I'm going to speak it perfectly one day. (Blood is thicker than water!) My heart belongs to Serbo-Croatian! I’m also planning on starting to learn Macedonian.

16. I am passionate! In some situations it is so obvious! In others I just do not show it that much and people think I am really mature and thoughtful. It's not that it isn’t true but still there is the vital-child's-passionate thing inside me which has the lead.

17. I cannot live without music. I can and do live without TV but my soul begins to slowly fall into pieces if I don't hear - and feel - music. I am in love with the Rhythm!

18. I hate spending hours on end sitting on a chair or lying in bed. My body needs to be active and to feel the dynamics. I always strive for the balance between mind and body. If I spend 2-3 hours in learning or reading I then need to devote a few hours to my body.

19. I love reading literature! But I hate analyzing it (except in my mind, of course).

20. As a child I was so impatient. I then learned how to be patient.

21. I am not sure I want to marry.

22. I adore my friends! I am talking about the few ones who have known me for years and are now spread all over the world. It is a bond that has passed through a lot but will never break! I am so lucky to have them!

23. I used to make plans. But then I got rid of this habit. I am now open to any new opportunities which enter my life. I don't know where I'll be in few months and I always reject questions like What are your plans in the long run?. The truth is, I don't have any.

24. I rarely spend my holidays at the seaside. I love watching the sea and spend a few hours every year just sitting on the beach and watching it. I am actually in love with the mountains.

25. I love shining! :)

On Reading The Signs

A few days ago I strained a tendon in my left foot. The result is that I have been limping for a few days now. Oh, yeah - and I had to spend the first two days after the injury in bed! When something like this happens to people like me, who are not used to spending days on end lolling around and not having the will even to move their ass for a short walk in the neighbourhood, such a situation seems like a real disaster. I don't know how long it will take until I am able to walk again normally without feeling any discomfort in my foot. And I have really no idea when I will return to my 55kg.-squat and 70kg.-deadlift. Does that make me a bit sad - yes! Am I sorry for what has happened to me - hell no!

The moment something like this happens to you it seems like an obstacle, like something which prevents you from keeping up with your daily rhythm and brings a little – or not that little - mess in your life. Think of all the times something unexpected and undesired has befallen you and has brought a string of changes into your life. The first reaction sounds often like this: How could it happen to me?, How could it happen just now (when I have so much to do)?, Damn it! Not exactly now!

But have you thought of it otherwise - I mean, not from the Damn it! point of view? Have you thought about following things:
a) why did it happen just now?
b) could it mean something?
c) what does life try to tell me?

I dare saying that such "happenings" do not come about by accident. I dare saying that such "happenings" come just in time - when you have missed to learn or understand something, haven't noticed it or are just much too much in a hurry. This is Your Life's way to tell you Slow it down a little! Take a halt, damn it!. So instead of cursing or asking stupid rhetoric questions, just take a look at your life and find what you have missed to learn or what more you have to learn. I have drawn the conclusions from what happened to me. I know now what I did wrong, I know that I will not do it wrong the next time; I had enough time to remind myself not to be in a hurry but to be consistent, more cautious and paying attention to details.

So next time something "bad", "unexpected", "unplanned" or "why-exactly-now"-thing happens to you, remind yourself that it is happening just at the right moment. Instead of trying to figure out how to deal with the "problem" wiping it off as quickly as you can and concentrating on its negativity, have a look into yourself and try to figure out the point you should take a few steps back to, change or learn something and only then keep going further.

On Mixing Languages Up

The other day it happened again. I’m sick of mixing languages up! It’s so pathetic! And it has been happening to me since...well, since I have to do with 5 languages now. The worst of all is that I deal with almost every single of them every single day so my mind just cannot concentrate on one or two of them and therefore mixes them up all the time. Really pathetic!

It’s embarrassing to talk to an English native-speaker and build the following sentence: I don’t know, ob du das schon... Horrible! And every time after throwing up such a nonsense I get to the point when I have to apologize how I deal with several languages and how none of them seems to find its box in my head where it settles down once and for all and does not come out from it mixing up with the contents of the other four boxes. I sometimes imagine these five languages as disobedient, unruly and mischievous children whom I have to take care of, constantly looking after them and calming them down.

It is, of course, not always like this. If I stay longer in a monolingual environment then it is OK. I get into the language schemes and structures and just drown in them leaving all other languages as well as all their lexis, syntax etc. aside. The result is, the language-responsible centers in my mind feel at ease, completely comfortable with the situation and not having to struggle with each of my five naughty kids. Perfection! But if the situation changes and at least two of them get involved in the same game, at the same time – uh, then I do have a problem!

I still do not know how to cope with such situations. I haven’t found the golden rule yet but I keep searching. The paradox is, if you think that the more you have a command of a language, the rarer you would mix it up with the others available on your ‘language-hardware’ – you’re wrong. It is more often than not just an illusion - particularly if you have spent weeks or months in a monolingual environment. The master-and-commander feeling comes over really quickly but as soon as you leave the mono-environment you’re done with the convenience.

And still I find it interesting. The whole process of taking hold of your own knowledge and making it obedient has some hidden charm. It reminds me of the omnipresent truth that theory without praxis, knowledge without knowing how to implement and deal with it, has little to do with the real world.

Practice!

...be a Man, my son!

It seems, recently I have been stumbling across magnificent lyrics. It's not that I have much time to read - no, unfortunately not... But I seem to come across the right thing - at the right place, at the right time (I call it the at random opened book phenomenon).

This poem is one of those I ‘accidentally’ hit upon. I would not like to add or comment anything about it....just having fear of spoiling its beauty! Enjoy it! It's worth the reading all the way!

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling