За вярата...

Ето - аз дишам,
работя,
живея
и стихове пиша
(тъй както умея).
С живота под вежди
се гледаме строго
и боря се с него,
доколкото мога.

С живота сме в разпра,
но ти не разбирай,
че мразя живота.
Напротив, напротив! -
Дори да умирам,
живота със грубите
лапи челични
аз пак ще обичам!
Аз пак ще обичам!

Да кажем, сега ми окачат
въжето
и питат:
"Как, искаш ли час да живееш?"
Веднага ще кресна:
"Свалете!
Свалете!
По-скоро свалете
въжето, злодеи!"

За него - Живота -
направил бих всичко. -
Летял бих
със пробна машина в небето,
бих влезнал във взривна
ракета, самичък,
бих търсил
в простора
далечна
планета.

Но все пак ще чувствам
приятния гъдел,
да гледам как
горе
небето синее.
Все пак ще чувствам
приятния гъдел,
че още живея,
че още ще бъда.

Но ето, да кажем,
вий вземете, колко? -
пшеничено зърно
от моята вера,
бих ревнал тогава,
бих ревнал от болка
като ранена
в сърцето пантера.

Какво ще остане
от мене тогава? -
Миг след грабежа
ще бъда разнищен.
И още по-ясно,
и още по-право -
миг след грабежа
ще бъда аз нищо.

Може би искате
да я сразите
моята вяра
във дните честити,
моята вяра,
че утре ще бъде
живота по-хубав,
живота по-мъдър?

А как ще щурмувате, моля?
С куршуми?
Не! Неуместно!
Ресто! - Не струва! -
Тя е бронирана
здраво в гърдите
и бронебойни патрони
за нея
няма открити!
Няма открити!

--Никола Вапцаров

"БЪДИ ЗВЕЗДА ДО КРАЯ"

Господи,ти си толкова могъщ! Помогни на тези, които се нуждаят от сила на духа и вяра в доброто. Господи!

Ако сам изпаднеш в беда,
или губиш в нечестна игра,
недей, недей, недей се предава.
Попаднеш ли в нечисти ръце,
дори да чувстваш, че силни са те,
недей, нагоре не, не оставай.

Бъди звезда докрая
във ада и във рая,
бъди звезда в живота,
бъди звезда във смъртта.

Ако някой подлец отстрани
се опита до теб да върви,
недей, недей, не му позволявай.
Следвай свойта голяма мечта,
вярвай и далеч да е тя,
недей, недей, недей се предава.

Бъди звезда в простора,
сред милиони хора,
бъди звезда до края,
бъди звезда в любовта.

--Георги Станчев

Untitled

„The tragedy in life does not lie in not reaching your goals. The tragedy lies in not having a goal to reach for.

It is not a calamity to die with your dreams unfulfilled but it is a calamity not to dream.

It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideals but it’s a disaster to have no ideal to capture.

It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for.”

--Benjamin E. Mayes

"J"-кривата (J-curve)

Вчера четох за кривата "J" (J-curve). Ето какво казва добрата, стара Уикипедия:

The term J-curve is used in several different fields to refer to a variety of unrelated J-shaped diagrams where a curve initially falls, but then rises to higher than the starting point.

По принцип въпросната крива играе доста голяма роля в маркетинга, бизнеса, политиката и т.н. Не тези неща имам обаче предвид.

Харесва ми мисълта за "where a curve initially falls, but then rises to higher than the starting point". Има май доста общо с това, което преди известно време бях писала в блога - за падовете и възходите. Само че при "J"-кривата отиваме още една стъпка напред: не само че след достигане на най-ниската точка кривата започва да се изкачва нагоре и достига началното ниво, но и продължава и над него - изкачва се нагоре, нагоре, и още по-нагоре... Прекрасна идея! По една или друга причина слизаш до долу, стигаш някакво дъно, след което...ами просто тръгваш нагоре!

Тук може би ще си поставите някои питанки и чуденки, например:

Как да позная кога съм стигнал дъното?
Аз бих казала: ЩЕ ГО ПОЧУВСТВАШ! И след това чисто и просто ще започнеш да се катериш бавно и славно нагоре.

А как въобще да тръгна да се катеря нагоре?
Аз бих казала (пак!): ЩЕ ГО ПОЧУВСТВАШ! И просто някак си ще тръгнеш. В началото може би няма дори да ти е ясно точно накъде или точно как. В началото просто ще вървиш нагоре. И като за начало само това е важното - посоката. Ще тръгнеш бавно нагоре по своята "J"-крива.

И няма да спреш...

The Beauty of Letting Go

Rather the flight of the bird passing and leaving no trace
Than creatures passing, leaving tracks on the ground.
The bird goes by and forgets, which is as it should be.
The creature, no longer there, and so, perfectly useless,
Shows it was there - also perfectly useless.

Remembering betrays Nature,
Because yesterday's Nature is not Nature,
What's past is nothing and remembering is not seeing.

Fly, bird, fly away; teach me to disappear!

--Pessoa

Chooser vs. Picker

One extract from the book I'm reading now. So...are you a chooser or a picker?


"Finally, the very wealth of options before us may turn us from choosers into pickers. A chooser is someone who thinks actively about the possibilities before making a decision. A chooser reflects on what's important to him or her in life, what's important about this particular decision, and what the short- and long-range conse­quences of the decision may be. A chooser makes decisions in a way that reflects awareness of what a given choice means about him or her as a person. Finally, a chooser is thoughtful enough to conclude that perhaps none of the available alternatives are satisfactory, and that if he or she wants the right alternative, he or she may have to create it.

A picker does none of these things. With a world of choices rushing by like a music video, all a picker can do is grab this or that and hope for the best. Obviously, this is not such a big deal when what's being picked is breakfast cereals. But decisions don't always come at us with signs indicating their relative importance promi­nently attached. Unfortunately, the proliferation of choice in our lives robs us of the opportunity to decide for ourselves just how important any given decision is.”

--B.S.

One of Those Moments...

Yesterday I experienced one of those moments when you are thankful for such simple things like having legs and arms, for being able to use them and enjoying their ability to function - such simple things which make you forget A-L-L that you consider serious problems in your daily routine.

I was on my way to Hagen. I was all drowned in my own thoughts not paying much attention to the people in the immediate vicinity of me. I was sitting still, lost in reading, when suddenly the woman beside me started to make some strange - almost gymnastics - moves. But even this couldn't get me out of my occupation. Only a moment later she asked me when our train was due to arrive in Dortmund. I explained to her that this train didn't go to Dortmund at all and that she would have to catch other train. She just sighed, then gave me one of the most friendly and genuine smiles I have ever experienced in my life and I got lost again in my book.

Not for long...

The gymnastics moves went on. They were even more impressive than before. With my peripheral vision I could see a foot just a few centimeters from my face and somewhere down there - a head, almost reaching the floor. I turned my head and looked at the woman. She had no arms. A conductor was passing to check the passenger cards and the woman was taking out hers. She was taking it out of her bag which was lying down on the floor with the help of her feet! At that moment I thought of all the "fancy women" who sometimes cannot even take their identity card out of their purse because their manicure is too long and oh-my-God-it-could-get-damaged!.

Reverence!

The woman showed her passenger card to the conductor and started to pack her stuff to get off at the next station. She packed her bag alone - with the help of her feet! - hung it on her neck and got to drag her trunk to the train door (oh right, did I mention that she had a trunk either?).

She would never read this but I can't help saying it:
You made my day! Thank you!

God bless you!

"Живей, приятелю, живей!"

One of my "guiding-light" poems.
Sorry, again, for not translating it. I just don't feel condign enough to bother this beauty...



Живей, когато имаш всичко,
ала от всичко си лишен
и късаш думите на срички,
за да не паднеш в негов плен.

Живей, когато от тревога
отрониш първата роса
и търсиш утрото в приятел
от детските си небеса.

Живей, когато ти се плаче
или от плач си отвратен
от бели мишки и гризачи,
които ровят в твоя ден.

Живей, когато те разлюбят
светкавици и ветрове
и нежността започне грубо
с метални устни да зове.

Живей, дори да си измамен
от собствената си съдба
и вместо да усетиш рамо -
усещаш нечий нож в гърба.

Живей за всичко! А когато
в живота всичко изгори
вдигни се пак и без остатък
останките му събери.

Живей и всяка адска жега
с капчукова вода полей!
Дори да ти коват ковчега -
живей, приятелю, живей!!!

--Матей Шопкин

The Holistic Approach

I think I’ve mentioned this not once or twice by now: In recent 2-3 years I’ve changed a lot. And when I say “I”, this refers to my physical, spiritual and emotional world. I started to work out and got interested in stuff like human anatomy, workout schemes and fit-being as a whole (I deliberately don’t use the word fitness – just want to stay away from the conventional, commercial meaning of fitness). In some way I developed a new way of thinking – my view of many life aspects, of dealing with problems etc. The thing is, I started to change in many different aspects but still I had the feeling that they are all very strongly connected with each other although I couldn’t explain why or how this happens to be so.

A few months ago I came upon articles of one of the best authors – by the way, a personal trainer as well – I have ever come to read. In many of his articles I bumped into the word holistic. After a few attempts to ignore my lack of knowledge of the word (you know, in school they’ve taught us not to look up every single word in the dictionary but to catch the overall meaning), in the end I nevertheless looked it up. What was my surprise when finding some kind of a definition of the way I felt about the changes I mentioned above! Here what my dictionary said:

holistic:
1. based on the principle that a person or thing is more than just their many small parts added together;
2. (holistic medicine) medical treatment based on the belief that the whole person must be treated, not just the part of their body that has a disease.

There it was!

Since then I have been keeping myself busy with this topic a lot. The paradox is, there are not so many books or medicine textbooks which carry the word „holistic“ in their titles. So my attempts to find literature which concentrates on the holistic concept were all doomed to failure. But after all – that’s ok! Because the holistic approach is everywhere. Whether you read Shakespeare, your physics textbook, a history book or maybe fashion magazine - you can apply the holistic approach to interpret anything that you come across not only in books but in everyday situations as well.

Here is a short overview of the holistic approach concept. It refers to:
· the connection of mind, body and spirit
· taking responsibility of your own level of well-being and welfare
· treating the body/a situation as something more than the sum of its parts
· the interrelationship between all aspects of who we are and the world we live in
· the concentration on the internal and not the external aspect

There’s a lot to be said on the topic. What I would like to point out to in the end is the thing which fascinates me the most: in the beginning I used to understand the holistic approach as something referring only to the single human organism, to its fit-being and welfare. Now I’ve realized that the holistic approach can be “practised” in all different areas – human relationships, life philosophy, education, dress code, training programs, eating habits, attitude to money and so on and so on...

HA-HA! (Holistic Approach Holistic Attitude)
:-)

"I don't want to be anything other than me..."

"I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I've got to do or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me"

--G.dG.




Good morning, everybody! :)

On Mastering an Art: To Know What You Want

It is so f***ing, dam* good to know what you want! It is oh so logical and natural!


To know at any given moment, by any circumstances what is going to come your way - not because you have been told so by a fortune teller or by any other kind of I-can-tell-you-what-you-do-not-know-suspicious individuals but because YOU feel it and YOU want it that way! I don't need to be told by anybody what I want - even not by God or any other supernatural force which guides this world.


But don't mistake the I-know-exactly-what-I-want-in-my-life-principle for I-know-exactly-what-will-happen-to-me. Nobody knows what is up for them on their way through the wonder called "my own life". It's rather a question of following a guideline which leads Your you through Your life. And don't think that your guideline is going to save you! No, it won't! It is you who has to choose to stay attached to it. There might be drifting away or losing sight of your guideline. But it is there! And it is going to be there as long as you believe it and want it to be there.


The secret of being able to recognize your guideline if you haven't succeeded in doing it by now is to know that it IS an art! At some points in life it comes natural but in others you have to seek it. It's not about seeking the art, it is about seeking back your way of mastering this art. The potential is in everyone of us - at any time, at any point of our lives. The question is, are you going to use it?


What my meandering experience has taught me by now is: relaxed, persistent (but not too much!) and last but not least - loving! Loving the art of mastering my own art!

И пак тръгни!

"И пак тръгни"

Когато си на дъното на пъкала,
когато си най-тъжен и злочест,
от парещите въглени на мъката
си направи сам стълба и излез.

Когато от безпътица премазан си
и си зазидан в четири стени,
от всички свои пътища прерязани,
нов път си направи и пак тръгни.

Светът, когато мръкне пред очите ти
и притъмнее в тези две очи,
сам слънце си създай и от лъчите му
с последния до него се качи.

Трънлив и сляп е на живота ребусът,
на кръст разпъва нашите души.
Загубил всичко, не загубвай себе си -
единствено така ще го решиш!

--Дамян Дамянов


So sorry for not translating it! Its beauty would get lost if I tried to translate it...

"The Turn of the Tide"

I was rummaging among some of the stuff I have been saving for months and years now. And I was rereading some of the things. This one came just right..


Arthur Gordon tells of a time in his life when he began to feel that everything was stale and flat. His enthusiasm had all but disappeared; his writing efforts were fruitless, and the situation was getting worse day by day.
Finally, he decided to get help from a medical doctor. Observing nothing physically wrong, the doctor asked him if he would be able to follow his instructions for one day. When Gordon replied that he could, the doctor told him to spend the following day in a place where he was the happiest as a child. He could take food, but he was not to talk to anyone or to read or write or listen to the radio. He then wrote out four prescriptions and told him to open one at nine, twelve, three, and six o’clock.
“Are you serious?” Gordon asked him.
“You won’t think I’m joking when you get my bill!” was the reply.
So the next morning, Gordon went to the beach. As he opened the first prescription, he read, “Listen carefully.” He thought the doctor was insane! How could he listen for three hours? Nevertheless, he had agreed to follow the doctor’s order, so he listened. He heard the usual sounds of the sea and the birds. After a while, he could hear the other sounds that weren’t so apparent at first. As he listened, he began to think of lessons the sea had taught him as a child—patience, respect, and an awareness of the interdependence of things. He began to listen to the sounds—and the silence—and to feel a growing peace deep within.

At noon, he opened the second slip of paper and read, “Try reaching back.” “Reaching back to what?” he wondered. Perhaps to childhood, perhaps to memories of joy. He tried to remember them with exactness, and in remembering, he found a growing warmth inside.
At three o’clock, he opened the third piece of paper. Until now, the prescriptions had been easy to take, but this one was different; it said, “Examine your motives.” At first he was defensive. He thought about what he wanted—success, security, recognition—and he justified them all. Yet then the thought occurred to him that those motives weren’t good enough. That perhaps therein was the answer to his stagnant situation. He considered his motives deeply and thought about past happiness, and at last, the answer came to him. In a flash of certainty, he wrote, “I saw that if one’s motives are wrong, nothing can be right. It makes no difference whether you are a mail carrier, a hairdresser, an insurance salesperson, a home-maker—whatever. As long as you feel you are serving others, you do the job well. When you are concerned only with helping yourself, you do it less well—a law as unrelenting as gravity.”

When six o’clock came, the fourth prescription didn’t take long to fill. “Write your worries on the sand,” it said. He knelt and wrote several words with a piece of broken shell; then he turned and walked away. He didn’t look back: he knew the tide would come in!

The ***-persons

"Watch them! And listen to them! This is what you'll discover:

First, and most obviously, you see a person who likes virtually everything about life. Yep! This is a Liker! A person who is comfortable doing just about anything. One who wastes no time in complaining and wishing that things were otherwise. They are enthusiastic about life. And they want all that they can get out of it."

"They simply deal with what is there."

"No pretending to enjoy but a sensible acceptance of what it is and an outlandish ability to delight in virtually everything."

"Ask them what they don't like - and they're hard pressed to come up with an honest answer."

"Truly, they are likers of life!"

"A ***-person is free from guilt. And all of the attendant anxiety that goes with using up your present moments being mobilized over past events."

"Certainly they can admit to making mistakes. And they can vow to avoid repeating certain behaviours that are unproductive in any way. But they don't waste their time wishing they haven't done something. Or being upset because they dislike something that they have done in an earlier moment in their life.
Complete freedom from guilt will be the shocking behaviour that you'll observe in your ***-person. No lamenting the past and no efforts to make others choose their own guilt by asking such questions as Why didn't you do it differently? or Aren't you ashamed of yourself? and so on."

"You'll never see them manipulating others by telling them how bad they've been. Nor will you be able to manipulate them with the same tactics. They won't get angry at you. They'll simply ignore it."

"[...] Similarly, your ***-chap will be a non-worrier. You'll soon know that circumstances that drive many people to frenzy will be mildly internalized by a ***-person."

"They are not planners and putters away for the future. They refuse to worry when you do. And they keep themselves unmucked up by the accompanying anxiety that goes with worry. You can't drive him or her crazy with worry. They don't know how to do it."

"They love ambiguous things rather than being upset by them."

"They are not postponers saving for a rainy day. And while their culture admonishes such behaviour, they are unthreatened by reproachment. They gather in their happiness now. And when a future now arrives, they gather in that one as well."

"These people are strikingly independent people. They are out of the nest. And while they have a strong love and devotion for family they see independence as far superior to dependence - in all relationships. They treasure their own freedom from expectations. Their relationships are built upon respect for the right of an individual to make any decision for themselves. Their love means no imposition of values on the loved ones."

"They like to be alone at times. And they will go at great lengths to ensure that such privacy is protected. You will not find ***-people in numerous love relationships. They are selective about their love. And those they love are few in number. But they are also very deeply and sensitively loving."

"They are unusually free from opinions of others. They do not attempt to shock others or to gain approval by giving a damn about it on the surface. They are not oblivious to applause and approval. They just don't seem to need it."

"They can be almost blunt in their honesty."

"When you give them feedback about themselves they will not be destroyed or otherwise immobilized if you dislike it."

"No needs to be loved by everyone. No unordinary wish to be approved by all for everything that they do."

"[...] is a person who makes choices that are sensible. Even if they conflict with what everybody else does."

"You will not see a cocktail-partier. Or a person engaging in small talk because it is the polite thing to do. This ***-individual is truly his or her own person. And while they see the culture as an important part of their own lives, they refuse to be ruled by it or to become a slave to it. Not rebelliously attacking but rather knowing internally."

"***-folks know how to laugh and how to create laughter. [...] They are Laughers! They love to help others to laugh."

"[...] often scorned by "normals" for being frivolous at the wrong time. They do not have good timing. For they know in their own souls that there's really no such thing as the right thing at the right place."

"They love incongruence."

"They don't laugh at people, they laugh with them."

"These are people who accept themselves without complaint."

"No hiding behind artificialities, no apologizing for what they are. They don't know how to be offended by anything that is human."

"[...] Similarly, they accept all of nature for what it is rather than wishing it were otherwise."

--Abstract: W.D.

"Вкъщи"?

Вече не съм сигурна кое място да наричам "вкъщи". Всъщност процесът - на съзнателно или несъзнателно ниво - мисля, че е започнал още с тръгването ми за Германия. Осезаем стана едва преди 1-2 години. Резултатът в момента е, че наистина не знам кое е моето "вкъщи".

Наблюденията ми показват, че използвам думата "вкъщи" и за двете места, които сега чувствам като такива. Зависи от гледната точка. Когато съм "вкъщи" в Германия и казвам на някого, че ще си пътувам за България, казвам "Отивам си вкъщи". Хммм...сега като се замисля - май не казвам същото, когато съм си в България и ме очаква връщане в Германия. Да, определено не използвам израза "Отивам си вкъщи". Но определнео го чувствам така.

Мисля, че това е онзи преходен период между единственото вкъщи от детството - бащината къща - и единственото вкъщи, след като човек създаде свое семейство и има свой собствен дом, в който растат собствените му деца. Но сега ми е малко объркващо.

Не се притеснявам от факта, че имам две "вкъщи"-та. Просто ситуацията ми е нова и все още ми изглежда интересна и я изучавам. С всяко следващо идване в "българското вкъщи" и след това с връщането в "немското вкъщи" намирам някакви разлики. Забелязвам промените, понякога се питам как настъпват и защо. Да, процесът определено е интересен. И който не го е преживял, не може на 100% да си представи за какво става дума. Това е като с раждането - преди ти сам да родиш, може да чуеш хиляди истории на други жени как е преминало тяхното раждане, но докато не го изпиташ сам - няма как да знаеш какво е.

Странно е, и обогатяващо, и израстващо... И вече не ме притеснява. Не търся вече отговор на въпроса "Защо се чувствам така спрямо старото вкъщи?". Приемам нещата такива, каквито са. Прекаленото мислене може понякога повече да обърка, отколкото да помогне. Понякога трябва просто да продължиш напред и да go with the flow...

За падовете и възходите

Интересно е как след моменти на падове човек се взима в ръце и става двойно по-активен/силен/организиран. Слабите моменти са хубаво нещо. Без тях нямаше да знаем кои са силните, нямаше въобще да можем да ги изживеем. Защото усещането за нещо възниква малко или много на базата на разликата. Усещаме прилив на топлина, когато влезнем в по-топло помещение от това, в което сме били. Усещаме се обгърнати от грижи, когато преди това никой не се е грижил за нас или най-малкото сме се оправяли сами.

Чудя се само кое е нещото, което изведнъж те кара да се вземеш в ръце, да се стегнеш и да излезнеш от летаргията. Понякога е конкретно нещо или събитие, а понякога просто идва - моментът на "връщане към активната реалност" просто идва някъде отвътре. Може би след една определена граница организмът вече не понася летаргията. И колкото безсилен си се чувствал в летаргичния период, толкова след това те обзема някаква незнайно откъде извираща енергия. И само черпиш от нея, и черпиш, и черпиш, и черпиш... И се молиш това състояние да не те напусне пак. И да не се върнеш пак към онова, другото. Тогава разбираш, че наистина всичко е в главата ти. И всичко зависи от теб.

И все пак си мисля, че онова безсилие, онова чувство по време на падовете, когато си мислиш, че просто няма никога да излезнеш от дупката, е нужно. В някакви определени граници е нормално човек да падне малко надолу. Но само, за да разбере после колко хубаво е горе... :-)

grok...

Това е една от книгите, които преобърнаха виждането ми за света. Или...по-точно то вече си беше преобърнато. Книгата просто дойде в подходящия момент - за да го потвърди!

Мисля си, че не е от особено значение коя е книгата. Затова няма и изрично да я споменавам. Но това, което носи в себе си, е einzigartig! Надявам се искрено да не е единствената такава книга! Надявам се да има още много от тази "порода"! Защото светът има нужда от малко отваряне на очите...и душите!

Ето някои емблематични цитати:

• Remind me to write a popular article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses and some psychoses can be traced to the unnecessary and unhealthy habit of daily wallowing in the troubles and sins of five billion strangers. The title is 'Gossip Unlimited' — no, make that 'Gossip Gone Wild.'

• No, I must admit I don't grok.""You grok," Smith repeated firmly. "I am explain. I did not have the word. You grok. Anne groks. I grok. The grass under my feet groks in happy beauty. But I needed the word. The word is God."

• He was not in a hurry, "hurry" being one human concept he had failed to grok at all. He was sensitively aware of the key importance of correct timing in all acts — but with the Martian approach: correct timing was accomplished by waiting.

• Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl that she used to be. But a great artist — a master — and that is what Auguste Rodin was — can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is… and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be…. and more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo, or even you, see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply prisoned inside her ruined body. He can make you feel the quiet, endless tragedy that there was never a girl born who ever grew older than eighteen in her heart…. no matter what the merciless hours have done to her.

• Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy — in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.

• Now comes Mike and says: 'There is no need to covet my wife... love her! There's no limit to her love, we have everything to gain — and nothing to lose but fear and guilt and hatred and jealousy.'

• Each sunrise is a precious jewel…for it may never be followed by its sunset.

• Share water. Never thirst.

• Grok in fullness.

• Waiting always fills.
  

On Giving

I've been thinking about the process of giving recently. In the past few years I've noticed that I have become the kind of a person who gives a lot. The more experience I gain, the clearer it becomes to me how the whole process actually works.

To give unconditionally is the kind of giving everyone should strive for. To know that you're giving but not expecting the other one to give back is the place where you can be sure you have reached the top. It is not a giving process if you expect gratitude; it is not a giving process if you expect something in return. The best is, you can give no matter your social status, your occupation, relgious views etc. You can give anytime, anywhere, to anyone.

It's all in here...


If You Have Given

by Emil Dimitrov

1. If you have given the hungry one even a crumb of your bread
If you have given the homeless one even a spark of your fire
If you have given your dear one part of your heart
If you have given other people life of your life.

2. If you have given, if you have given,
If you have given something from yourself,
then you haven't lived in vain. (2x)

Ref.:
Nobody can take away people's love from you
Nobody can take away your love towards people
And nobody and nothing will ever take away your trust in people.

Truth, you are sometimes late
but you always come to us.

3. If you have taken away even a bit of someone else's fame
If you have heard a rumour and repeat it even for a second
If you are an enemy to the villain but listen to him even once
If you have eaten from your friend's bread and then forget him.

Were you even supposed to be born? (2x)

Ref.:
Nobody can take away people's love from you
Nobody can take away your love towards people
And nobody and nothing will ever take away your trust in people.

Truth, you are sometimes late
but you always come to us.

Smile! :)

Are You Going To Finish Strong?

A few posts below I mentioned the phenomenon I call the at random opened book. Well, it doesn't refer only to books; it refers to everything which comes your way "accidentally" just the moment you need it the most. It happened to me today...again.

It has happened more and more often recently that I don't comment and write much about the items I post. It's just that lack of words, you know... I have to say, this one struck me a lot!

It's about failing...

It's about falling down...

It's about having the feeling you are unable to get back up...

It's about getting back up...

It's about not giving up...

It's about finding strength again...

It's about finishing strong!

What's Going On Down There?

Something has been going on in Bulgaria for the past few weeks. But I still can't figure out what it is. I read the press, I get only isolated pieces of information but I can't get the puzzle done. More interesting is the fact that no one from the people I have talked to - living in Bulgaria - can really explain what has been in fact going on there. I know it's some kind of a chaos that's taken hold of the whole country but I don't know what dimensions it has already taken. Do we get to see the 1997's January events again - 12 years later?

I'm really curious to find out myself. And will then surely comment on what I'm going to see with my own eyes in the next 2-3 weeks. From what I have seen by now... well, I think I lack the words to describe it. Or maybe I'm just afraid I would draw any wrong conclusions.

Anyway, for now I can only hope that it is not that bad...

"I'm on the run!"

I woke up with this song today. I hadn't heard it for years. And when I say for years I mean for years. I loved it when I was younger. The thing is, it was at the time when I already spoke English and still I think I have never really purposefully reflected on the lyrics. Today the song just came on (have I mentioned how much I enjoy the shuffle function?) and somehow my sleepy brain got to listen to the lyrics. It's so much in there! I couldn't help posting it... Be on the run! Always!


"Blinded by Science"
-- Foreigner

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
Blinded by science, where do I belong?
What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

I worry 'bout the world that we live in
I'm worried by all the confusion
I wonder 'bout the lies I've been reading
I wonder where this madness is leading

Is this a road going nowhere?
Or is someone leading us somewhere?
I can't believe we're here for no reason
There must be something we can believe in

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
I'm not an appliance, so don't turn me on
What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

I worry 'bout the world that we live in
I'm worried by all the confusion
I wonder 'bout the lies I've been reading
I wonder where this madness is leading

Is this a road going nowhere?
Is someone leading us somewhere?
I can't believe we're here for no reason
There must be something we can believe in

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
I'm not an appliance, don't turn me on
What's in the future, has it just begun
Blinded by science, I'm on the run

Blinded by science, I'm on the run
I'm blinded by science, on the run

25 Random Things About Me

What is one of the best things to do at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning? Blogging, of course!

I have just been tagged on a note by a friend of mine in which you list 25 random things about yourself. Here are the rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
Well, I am not going to tag anybody, I just thought it would be great to have MY random things about ME in MY blog. Enjoy! :)

1. I grew up and changed considerably in the past 2-3 years. Partly due to some changes which came unexpectedly into my life, partly due to things which I myself attracted and forced to happen. (Тhough, I never know where exactly the one thing ends and the other begins. Don't you sometimes have the feeling that things, which at first sight seem to be accidental and not depending on you, have come into your life just because you attracted them - consciously or not?)

2. I love sports. I can't live without it. I am addicted. I love weightlifting (although I do a lot more things in the gym except for weightlifting, so it is not only about weights). I love the feeling of being alone with the bar - just me and the bar - particularly when I am all alone in the gym in the early night or morning hours. Pureness...

3. I hate shopping! Well, ok...maybe not exactly hate but I do not enjoy it that much. I go shopping 2-3 times a year and that's it! That's why my girlfriends do not call me anymore when they go shopping. It's just that they know I wouldn’t go...

4. I don't like going to noisy clubs and places on a Friday or Saturday night. Instead, I prefer spending the evening with friends at one's place having enjoyable conversations, watching a favourite movie, making a Friends-marathon, playing associations etc.

5. I have been low-carbing for more than 3 years now. And I feel great! My body loves it! Since then my appearance changed a lot. It helps me gain strength, clean my body, reduce body fat.. But people still find it weird and freaky when I say I just had pork for breakfast. *lol*

6. I adore my sister! By the time she was born (I was then 15) it practically didn't matter to me whether I would have a sibling or not. The day she was born my life turned upside down. The feeling was indescribable! But this refers only to my sister. Having own kids is something else (I wonder when my biological clock will start to tick-tack...if it ever starts at all).

7. I love making people smile!

8. I love to go for walks early in the morning. Most often I go somewhere where I can hardly meet anybody. The last time I did it - just yesterday.

9. I still find it difficult to go to bed early. But once I've done it I then really enjoy the feeling of getting up early in the morning and doing my stuff when the world around me is still asleep.

10. I love the Balkans! I am so fond of them! I love their (our) history, I love examining psychology of the Balkan people, their (our) character and temper. Even if I don't live on the Balkans in the long run I would make anything possible to travel "down" as often as possible! Thrilling!

11. I hate politics!

12. I love holisticism!

13. I do not sleep in the afternoon hours. I must be really tired to force myself to take a nap. Even if it happens, it is not more than half an hour of just lying in bed.

14. I am addicted to the ring on my right thumb. It is my second one. When I lost my first one I felt terribly for days. A part of me was missing...

15. I adore slavonic languages! It seems I cannot get enough of them! My last passion is Ukrainian. My Russian sucks but I know I'm going to speak it perfectly one day. (Blood is thicker than water!) My heart belongs to Serbo-Croatian! I’m also planning on starting to learn Macedonian.

16. I am passionate! In some situations it is so obvious! In others I just do not show it that much and people think I am really mature and thoughtful. It's not that it isn’t true but still there is the vital-child's-passionate thing inside me which has the lead.

17. I cannot live without music. I can and do live without TV but my soul begins to slowly fall into pieces if I don't hear - and feel - music. I am in love with the Rhythm!

18. I hate spending hours on end sitting on a chair or lying in bed. My body needs to be active and to feel the dynamics. I always strive for the balance between mind and body. If I spend 2-3 hours in learning or reading I then need to devote a few hours to my body.

19. I love reading literature! But I hate analyzing it (except in my mind, of course).

20. As a child I was so impatient. I then learned how to be patient.

21. I am not sure I want to marry.

22. I adore my friends! I am talking about the few ones who have known me for years and are now spread all over the world. It is a bond that has passed through a lot but will never break! I am so lucky to have them!

23. I used to make plans. But then I got rid of this habit. I am now open to any new opportunities which enter my life. I don't know where I'll be in few months and I always reject questions like What are your plans in the long run?. The truth is, I don't have any.

24. I rarely spend my holidays at the seaside. I love watching the sea and spend a few hours every year just sitting on the beach and watching it. I am actually in love with the mountains.

25. I love shining! :)

On Reading The Signs

A few days ago I strained a tendon in my left foot. The result is that I have been limping for a few days now. Oh, yeah - and I had to spend the first two days after the injury in bed! When something like this happens to people like me, who are not used to spending days on end lolling around and not having the will even to move their ass for a short walk in the neighbourhood, such a situation seems like a real disaster. I don't know how long it will take until I am able to walk again normally without feeling any discomfort in my foot. And I have really no idea when I will return to my 55kg.-squat and 70kg.-deadlift. Does that make me a bit sad - yes! Am I sorry for what has happened to me - hell no!

The moment something like this happens to you it seems like an obstacle, like something which prevents you from keeping up with your daily rhythm and brings a little – or not that little - mess in your life. Think of all the times something unexpected and undesired has befallen you and has brought a string of changes into your life. The first reaction sounds often like this: How could it happen to me?, How could it happen just now (when I have so much to do)?, Damn it! Not exactly now!

But have you thought of it otherwise - I mean, not from the Damn it! point of view? Have you thought about following things:
a) why did it happen just now?
b) could it mean something?
c) what does life try to tell me?

I dare saying that such "happenings" do not come about by accident. I dare saying that such "happenings" come just in time - when you have missed to learn or understand something, haven't noticed it or are just much too much in a hurry. This is Your Life's way to tell you Slow it down a little! Take a halt, damn it!. So instead of cursing or asking stupid rhetoric questions, just take a look at your life and find what you have missed to learn or what more you have to learn. I have drawn the conclusions from what happened to me. I know now what I did wrong, I know that I will not do it wrong the next time; I had enough time to remind myself not to be in a hurry but to be consistent, more cautious and paying attention to details.

So next time something "bad", "unexpected", "unplanned" or "why-exactly-now"-thing happens to you, remind yourself that it is happening just at the right moment. Instead of trying to figure out how to deal with the "problem" wiping it off as quickly as you can and concentrating on its negativity, have a look into yourself and try to figure out the point you should take a few steps back to, change or learn something and only then keep going further.

On Mixing Languages Up

The other day it happened again. I’m sick of mixing languages up! It’s so pathetic! And it has been happening to me since...well, since I have to do with 5 languages now. The worst of all is that I deal with almost every single of them every single day so my mind just cannot concentrate on one or two of them and therefore mixes them up all the time. Really pathetic!

It’s embarrassing to talk to an English native-speaker and build the following sentence: I don’t know, ob du das schon... Horrible! And every time after throwing up such a nonsense I get to the point when I have to apologize how I deal with several languages and how none of them seems to find its box in my head where it settles down once and for all and does not come out from it mixing up with the contents of the other four boxes. I sometimes imagine these five languages as disobedient, unruly and mischievous children whom I have to take care of, constantly looking after them and calming them down.

It is, of course, not always like this. If I stay longer in a monolingual environment then it is OK. I get into the language schemes and structures and just drown in them leaving all other languages as well as all their lexis, syntax etc. aside. The result is, the language-responsible centers in my mind feel at ease, completely comfortable with the situation and not having to struggle with each of my five naughty kids. Perfection! But if the situation changes and at least two of them get involved in the same game, at the same time – uh, then I do have a problem!

I still do not know how to cope with such situations. I haven’t found the golden rule yet but I keep searching. The paradox is, if you think that the more you have a command of a language, the rarer you would mix it up with the others available on your ‘language-hardware’ – you’re wrong. It is more often than not just an illusion - particularly if you have spent weeks or months in a monolingual environment. The master-and-commander feeling comes over really quickly but as soon as you leave the mono-environment you’re done with the convenience.

And still I find it interesting. The whole process of taking hold of your own knowledge and making it obedient has some hidden charm. It reminds me of the omnipresent truth that theory without praxis, knowledge without knowing how to implement and deal with it, has little to do with the real world.

Practice!

...be a Man, my son!

It seems, recently I have been stumbling across magnificent lyrics. It's not that I have much time to read - no, unfortunately not... But I seem to come across the right thing - at the right place, at the right time (I call it the at random opened book phenomenon).

This poem is one of those I ‘accidentally’ hit upon. I would not like to add or comment anything about it....just having fear of spoiling its beauty! Enjoy it! It's worth the reading all the way!

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

'My Vision'

I feel like the sun
I feel like the rain
I feel like I just found reason for living again
'Cause what I've been dreaming
I know that it's real
I know there's just no changing the way I feel

(...............................................)
I feel like I've just found reason for being alive
And I have a secret I think you should know
I feel like I just can't keep this deep within me and I feel like I'm losing control

Can you see my vision
(.......................................................)
(.......................................................)
With no indecision
We were turning that key inside
To get in the moment

You're living a dream
(...........................................................)
I feel like all my fears are fading away
(............................................................)
(............................................................)

And I have a secret I think you should know
I feel like I just can't keep it
It's deep within me and I know that I'm losing control

Can you see my vision
(............................................................)
(............................................................)
With no indecision
We were turning that key inside
To get in the moment

--Seal


vision
sun
rain
real
being alive
no changing the way I feel
no indecision
living a dream
fears are fading away

Interesting things arise by putting the intimate love context aside and replacing it by love in the wider sense of the word... Duende!

Rules of Life

I couldn't help but mention this one:


Rules of Life

1) You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what’s inside.

2) You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them ‘is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life’.

3) There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it’s inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you’d want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it’s also ‘the act of erasing an emotional debt’. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that ‘mistakes’ are simply lessons we must learn.

4) The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - ‘causality’ must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn’t happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

5) Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the ‘rhythm of life’, don’t struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

6) “There” is no better than “here”. The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what’s good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

7) Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what you love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

8) What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don’t get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what’s right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

9) Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

10) You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom is the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

--Cherie Carter Scott

One Art

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

(Elizabeth Bishop)

Funny... Do you know how to lose, guys? Do you know how to handle a situation in which you have lost something? Have you mastered this art? Because it is an art.. I have mastered one side of it: the losing of material things. Man, it's great! I remember as I used to freak out months and years ago everytime I lost something. I needed hours or even days till I go through the whole thing. Sucks! Then, bit by bit, I began trying to figure out why it is so hard for me to lose things. Even when it was not about losing anything particular. I just didn't feel comfortable losing things..

And then I started to lose; I started to lose intentionally and absolutely on purpose. I just wanted to learn how to lose. Just a simple example: I had so many songs on my laptop which I didn't listen to anymore. And they took so much space of my HDD! And for a long time I didn't have the courage to delete them. You know why? Because these were all songs from my childhood or, rarely, bound to a particular moment or experience in my life. This is not bad you would say. No, it is not! But, man, I never ever listened to these songs! And I needed my HDD space!

I just began deleting them, losing them. At first it was hard! Damn, it was hard! But I have mastered the art of losing to a degree yet when I'm not afraid anymore! Because it is the emotion which remains. And the emotion has not to be necessarily attached to an object. To cherish the emotion although having lost the object it was attached to - that's what this art is all about!

Do you know how to lose, guys?